Single parent mortgage assistance?

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I recently found out my husband is cheating and hasn’t paid the mortgage, taxes, utilities, loans for almost a year. He’s always done the bills and never lets me touch a penny of mine or his pay check. I always assumed the bills were being paid and there wasn’t much left over and never questioned anything. Then while cleaning out the closet in the office I came across a garbage bag full of unopened bills, some were even certified! The mortgage is way behind, there’s threats of foreclosure, he’s been paying just enough that the utilities would stay on making arrangements with them so I wouldn’t notice. I asked him for a divorce so as soon as I can afford it I’ll file. I’m 27 and in debt I wasn’t aware of until a few days ago. Is there any way I can get a new mortgage for my existing one that will consolidate my debts w/o raising payments and get me back on track so I don’t lose my house. My 3 children and I need this home, we don’t have anywhere else to go. He screwed me over, help?!

  1. Reply
    Goddess Of Sleep
    February 17, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    my neighbor (in the apartment complex i live in) had that problem. she used to have a house, her husband paid all the bills, and she never knew she was being screwed over. she got child support out of the divorce, but really couldn’t do anything else or get anything else out of the horrible situation. on top of that, you might not be able to get child support, where you’re the one requesting the divorce, I’d look into it though. i dont know that much about divorce. i see alot of foreclosures though, i work through a sub-contracting company indirectly for a bank (several banks really). i dont actually have any direct contact with the bank, so i cant get inside their heads and tell you exactly what they’re going to tell you, but from what i’ve been told from my neighbor, theres not a whole lot you can do. get in touch with a church, or another kind of charity. file bankruptcy and start over with your kids. find an apartment you can afford on your wadges. theres always section 8 housing.

  2. Reply
    February 17, 2011 at 4:44 pm

    First off, I’m sorry to hear about your situation. You can get information on mortages and loan programs at and maybe even Suze Orman specifically

    But the 1st thing you should really do is find out the mortagage situation, how much its behind, the value of your home, the amount of outstanding property taxes etc. Is the mortage in both of your names? If he leaves the house, will it be just your income etc. Once you have all of that info, talk to the company that is handling your mortgage and at least two others to expand your options. It will depend on if your name is on the mortgage whether or not you’ll have a good chance of working something out with them.

    There may also be special programs for single mothers in your area. It varies from state to state and by county as well. Try searching under “housing authority” along with your state name or county that you live in. – Good luck

  3. Reply
    February 17, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    You need to take charge of your life and your money at the same time which is a double whammy. You can do it. I am not going to tell you it will be easy but you CAN recover from this nightmare. There are people in far worse situations than you are who don’t have homes to worry about… they live in the streets. There are families without food. Always remember the biblical story of the man who cried because he had no shoes until he met the man who had no feet. Get yourself some legal and financial and emotional counseling so that you and the children can cope with the difficult weeks, months and maybe even years ahead… but you CAN do it. Believe in yourself and realize that it’s not too late.
    Start by getting rid of the moron controlling your finances and your future.

  4. Reply
    Emperor Norton II
    February 17, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    You need to talk to some people on Monday.

    You need to talk with an attorney. You need to talk with a loan officer at the bank that holds your mortgage. You need to talk with all of your creditors. You need to put a fraud alert on yourself with the credit reporting bureaus.

    You also need to make plans to move out/ separate.

    Because, what if you can’t save the house? You need to assume the worst and act accordingly.

    You don’t mention income so it’s hard to give you targeted advice without knowing that part of your situation.

  5. Reply
    Gerald S
    February 17, 2011 at 6:15 pm

    Get an attorney ASAP. You are partially at fault because you chose not to know what’s going on. As his spouce, you are equally respopnsible for the debts. Good luck.

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