should I loan money to my daughter and son-in-law?

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My daughter is a doctor, son-in-law is a pharmacist but has a business which seems not doing too well because of high debts. He could earn more by working as a pharmacist but insists on having the buisness since he likes its flexibility. My daughter works as a doctor so her income is much higher so she wants to help him financially. Besides her own savings, she asks me to lend her money so she can help him to pay off the mortgage (on the unit he bought before the marriage) sooner. Should I lend money to her or not? I am a retiree of average financial means.

12 Comments
  1. Reply
    LadyChristmas
    April 30, 2011 at 12:32 am

    Only lend them the money if you can afford to never get it back. There’s a reason people tell you not to loan money to friends and relatives. If you can afford to GIVE them the money, then do it, but don’t expect to get it back.

  2. Reply
    digital genius
    April 30, 2011 at 1:01 am

    Lady Christmas hit it on the head,
    if you can afford to loose the money, go for it.
    thats how you have to plan

    Hope for the best.
    but expect the worst, then you’ve covered your A..

    c y a

  3. Reply
    money_locater
    April 30, 2011 at 2:01 am

    Are you a bank?

    There is your answer.

  4. Reply
    Pam
    April 30, 2011 at 2:42 am

    I don’t think so. If that’s what he wants to do then he should acknowledge the consequences of having the flexibility he wants.

    If you can afford to be without the money and never see it again, I’d probably do it. But if you’re of average means as you say, then it doesn’t sound like you can live without the money. What if you have a financial emergency?

    Don’t feel guilty if you say no. They are adults and they will live

  5. Reply
    lolo
    April 30, 2011 at 2:47 am

    I wouldn’t. They have made choices as adults, they need to live with the consequences.

  6. Reply
    nora22000
    April 30, 2011 at 3:19 am

    No. Let them work out their own situation.

    Should your lazy, trifling son-in-law divorce your well-meaning daughter as soon as he’s drained both of you dry financially, the both of you will look silly on top of everything else.

    There’s no reason he can’t go work as a pharmacist. Independent pharmacies are getting unbelieveable pressure from chain stores like Walgreen’s, Costco, and even Wal-Mart. There’s no sense in your entire family going to financial ruin because his career choice has changed its dynamics. If he wants to have the flexibility of his own business, he should have left pharmacy and become a retailer of iPods or something a long time ago. It’s too late now, as he’s racked up debt trying to live a fantasy and needs to go to work asap to pay off his obligations.

  7. Reply
    The Man
    April 30, 2011 at 3:53 am

    No. You don’t lend money for someone to pay off their mortgage. That’s absurd! Obviously, they have no intention of paying you back or expect a below market interest rate, otherwise it makes no sense for them to borrow money to pay borrowed money off.

  8. Reply
    floridaman39us
    April 30, 2011 at 4:52 am

    NO. They have the potential to make plenty of money. Maybe the son-in-law should work as a pharmicist to pay off some debts and save some money first. Don’t lend the money.

  9. Reply
    chh945s
    April 30, 2011 at 5:15 am

    I’m not sure of his business structure, but you should explore the possibility of giving him the money in exchange for a share in his business under a contract. This way, you will still be loaning the money to them, but you get something in return.

    Another option might be for you to draw up a “loan” contract-possibly helping them out by charging him a lower rate of interest than the bank would charge for a similar or even allowing him to defer some of the payments until he can afford to make them.

    Good Luck!

  10. Reply
    reallyno
    April 30, 2011 at 5:56 am

    Really? No.

    sometimes kids gotta learn

  11. Reply
    Tony I
    April 30, 2011 at 6:22 am

    NO!!!! They should be able to manage their own finances as they are a doctor and a Pharmacist (who can earn $ 125,000 a yr easily). You need to protect your finances in case you will be hospitalized (long term) for some condition!!

  12. Reply
    juicyfruit
    April 30, 2011 at 6:23 am

    It should be pretty obvious at this point that the answer is “no.”

    You are sweet even to consider it, though!

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