Should I ask my Mom to Help me pay my Loans?

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When I started college, I got eveyrthing covered in financial assistance, almost 1/2 scholarship, the rest ALL grants, no loans. I was getting a free college education, which is very rare. The grants were because of my mom’s low income.

The next year, my mom decided to marry a man very suddenly. I told her I would lose all my grants because my step dad made too muchy money to even be considered for any sorta assistance. I saids perhaps you can just wait a few years, after all they only dated for 2 months… She said no, got married, and that when the time comes she’d help me pay loans. The tuition was 26,000 a year, leading me to take out 50 k total in loans for the following 3 years.

Now I graduated and I’m having a hard time paying these. I still live at home (I DO pay rent), but with my $ 9.75/hour job, I’m having a real hard time making all my bills every month because of my loans which take up a majority of it. I don’t qualify for deferment, because I do have a full time job (although its low paying), nor am I in school yet. I don’t go out, in fact I haven’t been out to do anything since August because I can’t afford clubs,cbars, movies, restaurants, all the things my friends do. I literally don’;t have 10 dollars to spare a month.

Is it fair to ask my mother to help me out? She knows I am having a hard time, but has not offered any assistance. She did say she’d help me 3 years ago when this came about, but has not mentioned naything since. BTW, she can afford it. Step father makes 70k a year, and the mortgage is paid off…
Well I still have the same job as I did in college. I couldnt find a better job, but have since stopped looking. I am starting a PhD program in the fall, so I don’t want to find a job now, train, than quit just months later when school starts. It would be a waste of everyone’s time. The help would only be from now until September, then I can defer my loans. Then I will work part-time while in school and keep the same job since it’s SO flexible.

10 Comments
  1. Reply
    charlotte g
    May 1, 2011 at 12:09 am

    couldnt hurt to ask

  2. Reply
    cuddles
    May 1, 2011 at 12:51 am

    you can ask your mother and maybe she will discuss it with your step father but dont expect it…
    college is expensive and your mom wasnt wrong for not putting her life on hold until you get out of school..
    if your mom cant help then do what others do, pay as much as you can but contact the financial institute (where you got the loans) and they may help you by lowering the payments each month..

  3. Reply
    alicialions
    May 1, 2011 at 1:26 am

    Even though they are married, and technically what he makes is her money too…it is not right to expect him to contribute to you financially. What did you go to school for, what did you spendall that money on for an education and now only make $ 9.75 hr?
    Get yourself a better paying job, move out to your own home because you are an adult, and figure out how to pay your own bills. That is part of being a grown up.

  4. Reply
    Just Call Me G
    May 1, 2011 at 1:53 am

    She said that she’d help you pay your loans back when you first mentioned that you’d lose your grants. Now is the time to remind her of that. Just simply say, “Hey Mom. I’ve been trying to take care of all my school loans on my own, but I’m starting to get in over my head. Remember when you said you’d help me repay them? I think I’m gonna take you up on that offer. Can we work out some kind of plan on how to get these repaid?”

  5. Reply
    Due on Canada Day <3
    May 1, 2011 at 2:14 am

    Yes, you should ask. What’s the harm?

    Just keep in mind, she in no way owes you this money. You didn’t earn it in any way.
    The only reason you got the grants is because SHE was low income. It had nothing to do with you.
    Now you have to pay loans because SHE married a man with money.

    Yes, you do live with her and she is legally in charge of you..
    however, you are not entitled to her help in any way. If she decided to marry this man, she did.
    It has nothing to do with you. Yeah, it sucks when it comes to money..we’ve all been there.

    My mom is mega low income as well, but I didn’t get a single grant.
    Just take a step back and think about how lucky you really are.
    Yes, you can’t spare $ 10. I know how that feels. Plus I have a baby on the way. But it could be much worse.

    Ask her if she’s still willing to help you out.
    And don’t say ‘BTW she can afford it’. HE makes 70k a year, not HER.
    It’s his money, so really it’s up to him whether or not he is willing to help you out.

    Just mention it to her in a polite way.
    Like I said, you are in no way entitled to any money, but I’m sure if you’re nice about it..it’ll come off better =)
    I’m not saying you wouldn’t be polite, it sounds like a legitimate request.

    Good luck.

  6. Reply
    Troll Police Dogs
    May 1, 2011 at 2:28 am

    You can ask, but you’d be good to do what most people with student loans are doing..working a second job at McDs.

    I only qualified for $ 800 in grants, and had to pay off my loans by myself. My parents made a whopping $ 40,000 a year, and I still got basically nothing in grants.

  7. Reply
    Charm
    May 1, 2011 at 2:53 am

    Ordinarily, I’d say that’s too bad.

    However, I believe that parents are obligated to help their children obtain a decent education so that they can get a good job and get ahead in life.

    If you are paying rent, and are not wasting money on drinking, going out, whatever, then I think maybe your mom should be willing to help you clear this up. Maybe not asking you to pay rent, or making some payment towards bringing down the principle so that the interest isn’t killing you.

    If you can show her some sort of budget, showing how much you bring home, and what you’re paying out on rent, loans, any necessaties (food, transportation, etc) and you can show that you’re in way over your head, and remind her that her marriage left you in financial turmoil, and that she did say you could address it later on, a reasonable mother would help you out.

    I’m guessing you are an undergraduate Arts student. There’s no money in that. If you are, consider the field of publishing. You can get your foot in the door by taking low paying jobs at first, but work your way up.

  8. Reply
    TheSwabbie
    May 1, 2011 at 3:25 am

    Hey Yup,

    I’m sorry this is going on in your life. Its a complicated situation with you Mom I can tell. Its one of those “touchy” situations for sure. You can ask her for help.. maybe by NOT paying rent and trying to work another job? I know its tough.. trust me. I’ve been there. When I got out of the Navy in 1980 I was 22 years old. Three years later I have a wife and a new child in my arms. I worked THREE jobs to support them.. my wife worked 60+ hours a week as a waitress too. We busted our BUTT’s to get our lives off the ground. After a year I was able to let go of 2 of the extra jobs and get an even better one as a lineman making ALOT more money.

    My point is – your future is up to you. Many times plans often go awry..and not because of anything bad “We” did, but just because… well.. Sometimes Life sucks and it deals us a sucky hand.. like what happened to you. If you are doing all you possibly can to get ahead and its not working YES.. ask her for help. But if you arent then she’ll probably turn you down flat. No matter how you look at it.. another part time job is probably in your near future is she doesn’t… Darlin, I know it rotten.. but that may be the only way to salvage your credit and not go defaulting on your loans. In the meantime try to get a better primary job. I wasnt as smart as you. I had the Vietnam Era GI Bill – and allowed the 10 years to go by without me using ONE CENT of it. Then years later I had to PAY out of my pocket to get my degree.

    No matter what..the years when you will be working the hardest and longest are your 20’s and early 30’s.. only after that can you even think of slowing down a little. If you “Ride” along and dont get out there and “grab that tiger by the tail”.. you will find yourself a 40 years old wondering what happened to all those years you SHOULD have been working hard. I have friends like this – they are 50 years old – still renting an apartment and driving a 15 year old car… No excuse for it.

    I hope things work out for you.. I am impressed that you’ve worked so hard already. Dont loose faith! Keep on slugging it out.. but it may take a little more.

    Parents give birth to you.. raise you and help educate you.. But they are NOT required or OBLIGATED to send you to college. If they CAN.. then they should.. but if they are just making it and dont have any left over.. then I dont see why they are obligated to go in the hole for you. I NEVER expected that of my parents.

    Oh, BTW.. 70K is NOT that much money anymore..even with a paid off house… you only clear about 900 a week after Taxes and Insurances.

  9. Reply
    Amanda H is G8RMommy
    May 1, 2011 at 4:03 am

    You are not looking at ALL your options….Okay, this is just me, but since you are not going out, I would use your spare time to get a second job. Believe me, I have been there and done that! I paid for ALL my own college though loans and working (my dad made too much money for me to get grants before age 24). When I graduated in 2001, the first “real” job I got paid (get this) $ 6.50 an hour. I knew I wanted to stick with it and move up in the company (which a eventually did, to about 50k a year), but in the mean time, I got a second job three nights a week and weekends to make ends meet and pay my loans. I worked both jobs for two years. Yes, it IS a lot of work, but it CAN be done.

    ALSO, make sure you are on the INCOME CONTINGENT repayment plan for your loans. With that income, your monthly payments should be only about $ 100 a month or less.

  10. Reply
    VoiceofCommonSense
    May 1, 2011 at 4:39 am

    Macdonalds always hires. The world still needs floor moppers and toilet scrubbers.
    Why freeload when you can work for it. It will build character too.

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