My wife forged my name and now wants a divorce.?

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It is now 8 / 2009. Back 12/2005 My wife is my name on a credit line of $ 70,000 against our house, then took out 4 credit cards in my name and went to max it out for $ 20,000. I did not know where until 2007, when my credit card was declined and I asked him why. We had a joint acct and it was well that pays the bills. We’ve been married 10 years and have two children aged 7 to 10 When they (in an e-mail) said .. lol that I panicked! She had two different times over 5 years, where they ran the credit card for $ 17k and $ 20k, but my father helped us to do. I know I may sound stupid ***, but I trusted him because she is an excellent mother and loves her family and her family is really nice and the earth. I know that after the second time I got my own bank acct and must keep track of money, but I trusted ihr.Drei days after I discovered that I wrong, I’m laid off and my father was in a hospice in his death bed waiting to die, then we ask their parents for money to us through the summer. They are 6-8 months and my uncle and my aunt gave me a full time job to help the maids who work for it. I was happy just to save the house and thought we could save our marriage. They filed for bankruptcy and tried to pay the bills, but 4 months later, I had all their expenses for the bankruptcy. To be honest, we did not really nice “stuff” in our house. Our first mortgage is $ 214,000 and the line of credit up to $ 68,000 now, but since the bust of the housing market, we went the problems will only $ 250,000 for our atty Haus.Meine (and I speak with 2 Attys others) said that although they forged my name and blew all the money without getting anything she can get away! We are in the discovery process of divorce and if we can see, all of their financial records and where the money went, I hope we can understand some things. If their budget “bills” paid my atty said then, there’s nothing I can do. I live in Connecticut. Is not it unreal you read that? I tried to stay the best and thus keep the children in a cottage not in a crappy apt, but I think I was wrong. I stayed once I found to be false for $ 70k. Again … I lost my job and my father was dying, so I did everything I wanted was to keep. Is not that sad? I hope I can understand that money from their student loans or simply blew money. She has a mailbox for a while and perhaps acct in her name. Otherwise I will take him to court and let a judge to scold, because the problem is everything. Friends say after so much as I can and worry about the other children had to wait 30 days gehen.Ich for the discovery and then a better idea of ​​my Situation.In their defense (I know I’m an idiot) it is an excellent mother (the worst in terms of financial resources), but he plays and emotional support in a way, I can not) and she got a second job presenting papers for one year after the debacle. But I think in time, if I do nothing and go away because the children go, I’ll regret for the rest of my life. I can never say I was a great father or husband Grande, far away, but she alone has ruined me, and children and now acts like she did nothing wrong and all questions silver are a thing of the past .. Your comments pls .. Yes, I want a divorce and therefore can stop living this lie and I will leave to remain together only for children. I honestly could not forgive him after the last time and we have been down all gegangen.Da they kept hidden from me, I had no idea they just skip all the money, until that she told me! We do not have nice things, and we both work Vollzeit.Ich do not agree with what I say ouragon writing, I’m lazy. Naive and trust, yes. I told him after the first time I really wanted to support the bills, but they refused. I would have an emergency, but it’s my fault.

7 Comments
  1. Reply
    ouragon
    May 1, 2011 at 12:11 am

    You should have taken tight control of your finances after her first crime. Sounds like you didn’t because you’re lazy and you didn’t want to raise your own kids.

    She didn’t singlehandedly bankrupt your family. You were a participant.

  2. Reply
    Lillian
    May 1, 2011 at 12:52 am

    Wow, what a bitch! And people think me so unromantic when I ask about their intended partners credit and debt and income. This is why I always bring up the money. Laws vary from state to state, so listen to your attorney and I hope you live in a state where you can dump the debt onto her.

  3. Reply
    mommy007
    May 1, 2011 at 1:35 am

    The fact that you are not letting the financial downfall, that she single handedly caused for the two of you, overshadow the fact that she is a wonderful mother is VERY mature of you. Most people, when getting divorced, just slam their spouse up and down – no matter how wonderful they may be in SOME areas of the marriage/family. You clearly love her very much, and have tried very hard to turn your family back around. You never said WHY she wants a divorce… what are her reasons? Do YOU want a divorce? would it be possible for the two of you to get a divorce, get your debt split between the two of you (however that may be) and then work on your relationship – keeping your money SEPARATE and marriage OUT OF THE PICTURE? Sometimes people that have issues with money (spending/gambling etc.) can still be a part of your life… you just have to protect yourself (divorce). Maybe that’s an option for your family….

    As far as her ruining you financially – when my biological mother divorced her 5th husband, he simply told the judge that he did not authorize the purchases she had signed for on his credit cards, and the judge made her responsible for all of it. Were the credit cards in your name only or was she an authorized user? If she was not, and she still used them, then it SHOULD become her responsibility.

    As for the house – LET IT GO!!!! Who cares?!?! Let it go to foreclosure, and move the heck on! It is just a house. It is not the house that makes a family… you could live in a one room apartment, but as long as your kids have you then they will be happy and blessed. You are never going to get enough money out o your house to pay for it – especially not with the economy the way it is – so just cut your losses.

    The BIG solution (in my opinion) would be to get the finances/divorce settled in court – and then file for bankruptcy and start all over. Sure it will ruin your credit, but it probably isn’t looking too good anyways, right? And you won’t be needing your “good” credit anyways if you start all over and only spend what you have – NO LOANS, NO CREDIT CARDS etc.

    I hope my take on al of this helps. My husband and I are going through a very rough financial time right now, and we have recently come to the realization that money doesn’t = success or happiness. We are having to file bankruptcy because we made bad choices and got in way over our heads. Luckily, it did not ruin our marriage – but it did open our eyes. No more “keeping up with the jones’ ” for us!

  4. Reply
    cavemanjam66
    May 1, 2011 at 2:19 am

    You got played like a fiddle my friend.Not only did she dig your grave and bury you in it once,but you let her do it twice.I say go after her with tooth and nail to get what was stolen from you,i’ll bet she just pi$ $ ed the money away.I have a brother in law in the same situation,his wife buried him once in credit card debt and he had to sell his house just to get out of debt,now she has at the current moment buried him again with about 70 thousand dollars in credit card debt with no way of paying it off or even keeping up with payments since he has lost his job about 10 months ago.I think you should divorce her and sue the hell out of her.

  5. Reply
    sara
    May 1, 2011 at 2:33 am

    i agree w/ the last 2 posts. just b/c you’re married doesn’t make it right to do that either. she deserves to understand its a crime no matter how u look at it.

  6. Reply
    borah
    May 1, 2011 at 3:02 am

    ok well you are a whiner. first off lesson 101 no one else should be the sole person over your money married or not. you also have to assume the roll that you play in being the Head and not the tail in this partnership.
    you know everyone takes chance in life to see if their choices well benefit them and enable them to take care of others. My question is why did you not make changes to be a better father or improve your financial responsibility by taking a fiance class or something? You can not be a victim forever. if you do nothing and walk away then you will be hurting your kids for a life time. and what about you? I bet you would use that stage to get others to feel sorry for you in your situation rather than allowing them to respect you as a man.
    I am sorry to sound harsh but no that it is true and the only way i can know this is because i am going through it, but i stopped the divorce because i would have to pay my husband support to leave. all you have to do is educate your self in your rights and stand on that foundation. Please do not teach you kids how to quit, how to be a victim, and most of all how to shift the blame on other people.
    Do teach them how we live in a world that allows us to try and to make choices. that we can learn to address our problem and still move forward.. and yes even be happy again. To me you sound like an overcomer becuase you never quit, and it sounds like you just hit a patch were you just have to stand and shout and say damn it! and just maybe you need to know that you will get through it and you will. just don’t let fear over rule you and fear is False Evedince Appearing Real. Do your best and relize no one can ask more from you than that. and you can not give more than that. And if your heavenly Father says your best is good enough for him then that is all you can do accept it and be ok with yourself. I wish you the best in life for you and your family.

  7. Reply
    IndianLake
    May 1, 2011 at 3:26 am

    Believe it or not, I think you’re making too big of a deal out of her being a good mom and you’re using it as an excuse. But bear with me a bit on this 🙂

    You don’t say how old the kids are, but what does being a good mom mean? Interest in activities? Taking care of them when they’re sick? This is just basic stuff, not something for which you hand out an award.

    Everything you said about yourself and your reactions is understandable. And this is especially true of the part where you say if you walk away from the kids, you’ll regret it forever.

    Don’t marginalize your own role as a father. Your wife may be a good mom in some senses of the word, but she’s also set a horrid example to these kids about trust, lying, spending money, etc. And you? You were a bit wimpish about the bills. Who has the better character to set a good example for your kids?

    When your friends say to go after her for all she’s got, and then some say go after the kids, you can do both, but with the priority on the latter. Stop minimizing your abilities to parent! Those kids need a stable life, and you can be the one to give them this. Don’t make the same mistake you did before (being too passive) where your kids are concerned. Fight for them!

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