My mom lost her job? Should I help her with the mortgage?

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I’m 25 and I moved out since I was 18. I lived on my own and went on to college and never ask my mom for help because I rent my own worked and rent my own room. Luckily, I moved in with my boyfriend’s/parents’ a couple years later and I was determined to do well in school without worries of rent. I got into pharmacy school and just graduated this year.
My boyfriend’s parents do not want us to rent an apartment because they want us to pay off our debts/loans and save money for a house/future.

The day before my pharmacy board exam. My mom called me and said that she was fired from her job because of a second no call no show in 6 months. She blamed it on the stress at work and how she has trouble paying all the debt she had accumulated (10 credit cards). But I found out from my brother that she was in the casino the day she was suppose to work. I believe that she did forget that she had to go to work that day but I also believe that she lost her mind from the gambling.

She has absolutely no money in the bank saved up for a situation like this. Her mortgage is due in 2 weeks and she ask me to lend her $ 1000 to pay for it.

Like I said, I’m not yet making money because I’m a new grad and was in the process of getting my license. So I ask my boyfriend to lend it to her.

IF I passed my boards and start working. Should I help her with the mortgage (gas, electric, and water, etc) until she sells the house? This will be alot of pressure on me but no matter what your mom did wrong there is always a feeling that you need to help them out in someway b/c that’s “your mom”. But there is this other feeling that she’s putting her burden on me. I dont know what to do anymore. What would you have done if it was your mom?


  1. Reply
    May 19, 2011 at 2:50 am

    I think that you should help her but if it is going to be alot of stress on you maybe you can just pay part of it and your brother can pay part of it.To help her out because you don’t want to be distracted when your in college.

  2. Reply
    May 19, 2011 at 2:50 am

    I have had a lot of difficulty with my mom in similar situations. It is fine to want to help a parent who is going through a difficult time but it is not fine to be an enabler. It sounds like your mom has a lot of personal problems that need to be worked out. From what you have said she shows poor decision making skills and is possibly a gambling addict. If you give her the money I think their is a good possibility of that money not being used responsibly. In addition to that the more you give her the less motivation she has to take up responsibility for her own life and you may get stuck paying her bills month after month. I think she needs your help getting a job and getting treatment for gambling addiction more than she needs a handout. I have been their for many years. Every time I tell my mom no she screams and insults me and tells me it is MY job as her daughter to take care of her but before I learned to say no every time I handed her money she just asked for more. Be their for your mom but remember, It is not your job to fix her mistakes. She got herself into this situation by making poor choices and she wont learn or change by having you show up and fix everything.

  3. Reply
    May 19, 2011 at 3:41 am

    I would help her file bankruptcy and help her for a few months if you can if not she needs to learn her lessons on how to handle money if she is a gambler then there is another addiction I dont like my job but I still go to work when I am supposed to be careful of this help her out for say like three months and no more

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