My fiance still shares a mortgage and car loan with his ex-wife. How will this affect my credit after we wed?

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Additionally, I need to get the mortgage in my name where he and I are currently living. It is in my ex-husbands name but need my fiance’s income and credit to do it. He refuses to “put his kids on the street”. At this time, he has not pressed his ex for a refi and told me that he will not. Same with the car she drives. Also, my fiance has not filed taxes in 2 years. The wedding is in 6 weeks and I am wondering about my future financial security.
Yes, he is a good man to think of his children. But he has had almost 2 years to get these issues resolved. Now it is affecting my children when they could very well lose their house due to his inaction. Not to mention that my ex-husband has been very patient in all of this.
I guess I don’t get why it is so unreasonable for me to at least have him request that she free up his credit. Also, my ex-husband does want to see the children stay in the only home they have known, but he needs his credit freed up also. Not to mention I run a licensed child care business out of my hame and would lose all of my clients by moving. When my fiance and I got together, he knew all that was involved for us to keep this house (which he loves) and now I feel that he is just kinda freeloading and wants all the financial burden on me. Thank you all for your responses. I have a lot to think about regarding protecting my children and finances.

5 Comments
  1. Reply
    KIDD
    May 19, 2011 at 10:45 am

    i would advise against the marriage at lest til he gets things straight and he prob owes a lot in taxes

  2. Reply
    timothy p
    May 19, 2011 at 11:20 am

    his credit and your credit will remain separate after you are married. If you do a joint loan you may run into problems with his debt to income ratio for a house he doesn’t live in and a car he doesn’t own. You may be able to get around this if it is spelled out in his divorce papers that she is liable for these payments. If she doesn’t make the payments, since it is a joint loan, it will affect his credit. If you are relying on his income and credit for future joint loans this could be a factor to consider. I understand that he is in a tough spot with his children. He may not want to refinance and she has no incentive to try but this COULD cause problems down the road for the 2 of you.

  3. Reply
    nusias9
    May 19, 2011 at 11:37 am

    What a good man.. it’s nice to hear that he is taking care of his children.
    It’s unlikely that his ex-wife is in a position to refi a home and a car.
    You need to understand that he is not doing this for her, but the best interest of his children. My advice is not to pressure him into having her assume the loan if the mother is not able to do it on her own. He will start to feel as though your are forcing him to make a choice between your new life and his children. Unfortunately, if he is close to children (which it seems that he really cares for them) you will loose this battle.

    No incentive !!!.. no one knows the real story here. This guys has to pay child-support and perhaps they have an agreement where he pays support directly on the loan.

    If he holds the loan with his ex-wife it does affect his credit.
    In this economy is hard to obtain a second mortgage regardless of income ratio. He’s made it clear to you that he is not taking his name off the other loan. So I agree that you guys might be in a tight situation.

    He needs to file and pay any outstanding taxes prior to your wedding. IRS issues will affect your situation (at some point) if he continues fail to file taxes. If he is owes a large amount of back taxes, they come after his personal property.. go to the IRS web site that is the best source for accurate tax laws/requirements.

    I would keep everything separate for a few years and/or not get married until he is in a better finical standing.

  4. Reply
    maccrew6
    May 19, 2011 at 11:52 am

    Listen carefully.. DO NOT marry this man until these HUGE financial things are taken care of… This could ruin you…

  5. Reply
    Lauren F
    May 19, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    Lots of things at risk here. The taxes are the biggest issue, although there is a form you can use called “injured spouse” that will help protect you a little to keep your share of any tax refunds.

    The houses are complicated and yes, it is possible that his ex-wife couldn’t refinance. However, that should have been taken care of in the divorce. Ask him to show you the divorce decree.

    Have you considered selling your house, to get your ex-husband out of his obligation on the loan, and then renting for a while until your fiance gets his obligations squared away? You are losing lot in tax benefits by keeping these mortgages in different names this way.

    The car is one he absolutely should insist she take care of. Unless it is a top of the line new car, that should be refinanced just to her name, so you have one less thing to deal with.

    I think you need to have a very candid conversation about your shared priorities before you get married, and especially on how you will both support both sets of kids.

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