MO & AR divorce laws, legal advice about spousal support, adultery, home…any lawyers?

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Long story…complicated a bit! Please be kind, this is a very emotionally disturbing situation, only serious answers please.
I’ll try to sum it up…

Married in arkansas, resided together in Missouri.
Married almost 4 years, I was a single mother of 3 going back to college when we met, and i had my own home.
we married, I sold my home, we bought a $ 300,000+ home together.
I had to quit going to college and work full-time because his promise to pay my tuition after we married was not fulfilled.
I quit working all together 6 months later at his request because he works away from home and wanted me home when he was not working.
June 2007, he moved out and got an apartment in arkansas, putting much of the blame on his children, stating they do not care for me.
Has spent much time here in our home since then, with many unkept promises of moving back.
He took a job in Asia 1 year ago and while claims to be working 3 months on and 3 WEEKS off, I just found out that he has not been working all that time and in fact has an asian girlfriend with which he is residing, believed to be in Thailand. yet he will not admit this.
He has since let the mortgage get behind, his vehicle was even repossessed this week.
Although I have had suspicions of all of this, I confronted him manytimes and it was always denied.
I lost my part-time job this week because of emotional upset and inability to work. and have discussed many times about geting a full-time job and each time he simply refuses and says there’s no need.
the emotional upset is because i had not spoken tohim in 7 days, got suspicious, found internet profiles(facebook, myspace) with many asian female friends, learned he’s learning the language, etc. I called the vessel he was supposed to beon and he had left 1 week earlier. learned he had been in bangkok, had lasik eye surgery, then was supposed to fly home on feb. 11th, move home permanently, catch up the mortgage, then on the 11th i got an email from him stating he wasn’t coming home. 5 days went by with no word from him, he claimed he had been in jail for hitting the doctor while at his lasik check-up. Now today, 5 more days later, he confesses its over!

I have no money, a home that will eventually go into foreclosure, an unfinished degree with student loans to pay, 3 children to support, no means to go to the doctor for some type of help with my upset and nervous situation.
His job is a contract position, no taxes withheld, all checks deposited into an Asian bank account, possibley in Singapore. His income averages $ 150,000 per year. He claims he doesnt have a passport anymore either.
I have suspected, but he will not admit to anything and I’m afraid he may be seeking citizenship in an Asian country and am unsure as to whether or not this will make me responsible for all of our shared debt.
What are my chances of getting spousal support, at least temporarily?
Should I go ahead and file for divorce now? or only tryto seek spousal support and let him show that he is the guilty and abandoning party by waiting for him to file?

***PLEASE***before any snide and hurtful remarks are made, please be aware that the only thing I am guilty for is loving someone who happens to be quite manipulative, hurtful, selfish, quite convincing, and someone whom I have always been able to trust and who I thought was my best friend as well. I am not a stupid person, I am very trusting and have always been an honest person. I am however, obviously a terrible judge of character. This situation has completely turned my world upside down, so please only serious answers from those who have serious educated answers.
I do plan to get an attorney, but have to have finances first and am trying to get a sense of what I may be up against.


1 Comment
  1. Reply
    April 29, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    WAY, way, way too long.

    Shorten this question and you may get more answers to help you.

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