Is my dad a Sociopath?

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he was always so controlling growing up. i couldnt drive like my friends could he never let my mom drive either. he always had to drive her out of town. i remember going to the store and i would be with him when he would see a stranger I felt like i would be kicked aside and his performances would began. he would make them feel like he is the best guy in the world. he would always had this thing for helping strangers over his family. we were always brushed aside if a stranger needed help. i just always thought this was weird growing up. i left got married. not 13 years later….i havent lived near him in those years and decided to move down the street from him. he is a contactor and he said he would do anything i wanted to my house and help me. so i paid top dollar for it and i thought my husband ,me and him would work on the house. he does some drywall work and then rips out the bathroom and rips stuff out upstairs and rips the stairs off says he is going to build me the best stairs . so my husband and i are working with him try to learn and do what we can. i was paying him what i could and then he found out i paid the wood layer to lay wood on the floors and he got really pissed and started telling my mom that we are just USING him. He said he is never going back down there and helping me. so my husband and i are now stuck with this house that he just decided to rip stuff out of and say how good he is at fixing it. he knows we dont have any money to hire contractors and we are very limited on knowledge about how to fix it. he would say you cant fix it because you dont have to money to hire contractors. and stuff like that. so my husband and i have been for the past 6 months try to learn and fix. in the meantime during this remodeling period he promised me i would be in the house christmas and i told him we cant do this together longer that that because i have another mortgage and i have to get my house ready to sell. he said i would be in the house last christmas. no he just walks in the house and said if you dont pay me for working 500 a week i would put a lien on your house or you can finish it yourself. so my husband and i just decided to finish it ourselves. he is an alchoholic gets drunk every night. the bad news is that i have been staying with him and my mom until the remodeling is done. he got mad at me last week and locked me and my son out of the house after i went to the grocery store and couldnt get my other child out of the house. my daughter let me in . he changed the locks and my key wouldnt work. he is very jealous because he knows i have about 100,000 equity in my other house and i was asking him to do this one little job that i could find anyone else to do and he thought i was talking about the house i have all the equity in and said he is absolutely not going to do any work on that house and me turn around and sell out and make money on. i had to sell all my stocks have been through my savings just to not lose anything. the whole house was ripped out and i couldnt get my other house sold that had the equity in until i got the house ready to store my stuff in because i couldnt afford storage and had nowhere to put my stuff. he shows no concience. how could you lock your grandchild out of the house? i told him that i am going to lose my house and have to file bankruptcy because he bailed on me and ripped my house out and he could care less. he never showed love to me growing up and doesnt now either. its very eery. i tell my kids i love them all the time. it seems he wants to win. my husbands family has really been helping us with out house trying to get it sold and he gets really pissy not happy for us that they are helping. i asked him if he could just please bring his triler over to the house after work instead of the morning so i could move some furniture and there will be 5 other people here also. he said oh so you are trying to con me into moving furnture. i litterly have to have another person around me when he does stuff for me because he puts on this great show and does this spectacular job when a stranger is around. if it is just me and him he will be throwing my furniture around. i feel like he wants to win . he wants me to fail. this is about him not helping and then us failing and losing one of the houses. he told me when he said he is not working any more on my house that HE has the power to get me and the kids in out house . I have wondered what i did i was a model child growing up and never asked him for anything before this house thing which was a huge mistake. and then i started reading about being a sociopath and he fits the criteria but i am not a psychologist

  1. Reply
    Palmela Handerson
    July 20, 2011 at 10:13 am

    Type less, then maybe I can help you. TL;DR.

  2. Reply
    July 20, 2011 at 10:19 am

    I have read about sociopaths and it’s possible that he is one or has another type of pathological disorder. I think perhaps, you need to talk to a counselor about this situation to help both you and him and your mother. If possible, have him checked out.

  3. Reply
    July 20, 2011 at 11:14 am

    An alcoholic is not in control of his thoughts or deeds whether good or bad. An alcoholic can appear to be a sociopath which seems to be the problem with your dad. You need to somehow get your son and yourself as far away from him as possible and stay away until he stops drinking. If by chance he is a Sociopath there is no medication, therapy, nothing that can give a Sociopath a conscience. You must accept this, it will never change please get out of there and don’t go back and never expect anything from him.

  4. Reply
    July 20, 2011 at 11:27 am

    It doesnt sound like sociopathic, it does sound seriously mentally ill, and jealous., perhaps with sociopathic features, idk. Alcoholism, research that , also.
    He IS dragging you down,and it sounds like the best thing you can do to protect yourselves is to find an excellant attorney and possibly sue him, or at least get realistic , stop staying with them and stay away from him.
    If you have read about sociopaths and he fits, then you are indeed in trouble. He is a control freak , regardless. , it sounds.
    You should end the relationship completely, and focus on saving your homes and dignity.
    You could sue him for the damages to your home and breach of verbal contract, also.
    He has ‘lost it’ , when he is not in ‘control’.
    He sounds more like a narcissist , or personality disorder, but I am not there.
    take this quiz to see if you are in danger, although you should know if you are.

    You have to get very clear now, and not give out any double messages. Save your property and selves, and then set clear boundaries with him , and stick to them.
    It sounds like he went from thinking you are a child that he could control as he always did, to seeing you as an adult that is doing better than he is . He cant control you now, so he is losing it.
    Talk to a professional if you must.
    Pull yourselves back together. Consider moving away. Your relationship with him wont improve,most likely. Some parents like him WILL drag you down , so you are not ‘better’ than they are. He sounds like one of them.

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